Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Feline Larceny

Larceny of a feline, that is.

About a year ago, we adopted two "barn cats": Leza, an obese but effective mouser, and Night Time, a thin, shy, black cat. Leza is very friendly, and will occasionally leave her trophies in a conspicuous place to keep us appraised of her hunting prowess. Night Time, on the other hand, prefers privacy; the only evidence of her presence tends to be an empty food bowl. Our sons became the "owner" of one cat each.

Shortly after the adoption of these two cats, our neighbor began leaving the door to her screen porch propped open. Some time later, we would see Night Time going in and out of the door. Night Time would run and hide under the front porch whenever anyone - including our neighbor - would approach her.

Only recently were we able to approach and eventually pick up Night Time. My oldest son, Night Time's owner, was thrilled. He has a great affection for animals, and was so happy to finally be able to hold her. She began staying on our front porch in a "kitty kube" after the installation of a small pet door.

Our neighbor has since moved away, and the cat has disappeared. Night Time's food dish remains untouched even when filled with her favorite smelly canned cat food.

Our oldest son was terribly saddened over the disappearance of his cat. He confronted our neighbor at the end of her driveway. According to his account, she ignored him and said, "Bye." I confronted her (and her boyfriend, "Buzz Lightyear") today, as they were moving out the last of her things from her house. They pretended not to see me as I waved, but I persisted. Through the window of their truck, I recounted the above to her. She asked, could I "describe the cat?"

Me: "A medium size black cat with a small white mark on her neck and belly"

Buzz Lightyear: "We haven't seen a cat."

Neighbor: "Maybe we have been sharing the same cat."

BL: "We don't have a cat. Bye."

Me: "G. says he tried to ask you about it, and you ignored him."

BL: (Irritated) "No cat. Bye."

N: (Condescendingly) "Oh, that's not true."

Me: "I'm only repeating what he told me. He is sad his cat is gone."

BL: (Waves bye-bye)

N: "Well, I am sorry, but I have not seen a cat. I have had a black cat for about three years now. Okay. Yeah. Goodbye."

BL: "Bye." (Dumps clutch and nearly stalls truck trying to drive away)

Me: (To truck bumper) "Well, okay..."

I felt like adding, in my best Melvin voice: "I might have to come back later and blow this place up."

We have had previous problems with our neighbor, such as the location of the boundary between our lots, and the fence that is along the boundary. We have tried to mend the metaphysical fence between us, but could not get her to elaborate her complaint beyond a vague description of the "tension" she feels. She has, without our previous knowledge, brought our children into her house, to give them a "tour." They had been playing in our yard at the time. I called her when I noticed they were missing (for all of 5 minutes). She thought it was no big deal. She, childless herself, actually had the balls to tell me I should keep a closer eye on my children.

What kind of person steals a kid's cat, and then lies about it? Obviously, this nut job.

No comments: