...at the passing of Robert "Sheets" Byrd. He can no longer act as Satan's agent in the Senate. At least he can put those brutal West Virginia winters behind him.
He will be missed by those who loved him most: His fraternity brothers at Kappa Kappa Kappa, rope manufacturers, textile mills which specialize in white sheets, kerosene distributors, and the idiots in the media who like to recall the story of his "dog-eared copy of the Constitution," which he kept in the breast pocket of his suit (right next to his black heart).
"He knew how to spread the graft around."